Totally Not Misogyny

[Trigger warning for violent language]

This image capture was taken at 4 pm on 4.6.2011

Someone recently argued with me that r/MensRights is not misogynistic. I promptly went to r/MensRights, found disgusting examples of upvoted misogyny and shared them with that person. Their response? It’s only a small portion of the comments on r/MensRights, and they’re upvoted by a small portion of the community, so the community at large is not misogynistic.

Then I found this breathtaking example of misogyny – a comment  sitting with over 50 upvotes, and fewer than 10 downvotes and has been up for longer than a day.

So, this is totally not misogyny, right?

 

Leave your totally not misogynistic links in the comments.

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23 Responses to Totally Not Misogyny

  1. Kita says:

    The details: For those that can’t see the image it says in it’s entirety: it is a long comment that ends with the words “Slap a ho in celebration.”

    I have redacted the poster’s username and have provided an image cap instead of a link because a downvote mob as a result of this post does nothing to remedy the situation, and only creates more drama.

  2. Cel says:

    In reality, what we have here is a breathtaking example of blatant misrepresentation bordering on lies.

    That comment you see is in the context of a University of Florida study showing that women are the majority of perpetrators of dating violence and stalking. The quoted part is from a UF criminologist who is attempting to justify and excuse female violence, which is representative of how society attempts to downplay, justify, and excuse violence by women.

    The poster then argues that perhaps, in reality, women are more violent because society allows them to be violent. To celebrate women’s violence, slap a ho.

    Definitely a clear example of misogyny! Let’s ignore how university officials openly try to justify and excuse female violence, that’s definitely not misandry.

  3. Cel says:

    Violence is never justified, except in self-defense (in my opinion).

    However, I would argue that the poster is being somewhat less than serious about encouraging people to “slap a ho.”

    • Dee says:

      Unless the poster comes forward, how on earth would anyone know that? As it is, it is unlikely that they would indeed come forward, and if they did read the discussion in MR that is currently going, it is certainly feasible that their story would change due to scrutiny (Oddly enough, this is a huge ongoing discussion in government records circles: To what extent do open records laws restrain the writers of those records due to the fact that they know they may be scrutinized? No one’s found a good way to study it, unfortunately, as it goes back to original intent and potential unconscious biases and despite what our researchers think, we aren’t mind readers.) .

      As it stands, “Slap a Ho” is rather unsavory language in any discussion about gendered violence.

      • Jim says:

        > Unless the poster comes forward, how on earth would anyone know that?

        Just like you determine tone of voice with any other comment on the Internet: with your brain. It’s *obviously* tongue in cheek.

        If you were to take this comment at face value as Krita wants you to, yes, it’s misogynistic. It also *doesn’t make sense*. The guy is offended. So he’s calling for celebration? No. Don’t be silly. The only sensible interpretation is that the last line wasn’t serious. It is incoherent otherwise.

        Krita obviously went trawling through that subreddit looking for something to be offended by, then posted the first thing she saw that seemed to fit the bill. Oops, she was a bit premature and didn’t read it properly first. Result? The people who are looking for an excuse to hate those nasty misogynists will take it at face value and confirm their biases. Please be one of the people who actually *reads* the comment in context and thinks before knee-jerking.

        Krita: I’m sure there are occasional hateful things posted there. This isn’t one of them. Next time, choose a better example. You’ll probably have to look quite a bit harder.

        • Kita says:

          I actually won’t have to look hard at all, now that I’ve posted this, people have been sending all sorts of examples of blatant misogyny on r/mensrights and I plan on making this a regular feature. But thanks for reading!

  4. Cel says:

    I can’t know for sure. But reading in context of the thread, as I explained above, it seems quite clear to me.

  5. criolle johnny says:

    Not All Men Are Like That!

  6. Eoghan says:

    Feminists are far more prone to violent commentary, of the non joking kind too.

    Go see Jezebells celebration of domentic violence against men.

  7. Bag says:

    In fairness, 50 upvotes accounts for 0.002% of the MR reddit community so is hardly a representative sample.

    I’d also question whether the text, although admittedly strong anti-feminist, really displays a deep seated “hatred of women” either. The final line about “slapping a ho” although stupid, offensive and poorly though out is quite obviously just them trying to be funny and not a serious comment.

    /2 cents.

  8. Alisha Mills says:

    Sounds like a lot of feminist lies have been exposed already: http://goo.gl/tXXtr

  9. Porky D says:

    I look forward to the day when there is as much outrage over similar comments made about men.

    • Kita says:

      I certainly hope that anyone that jokes about doing violence to another person is looked upon with very strong disapproval in any community.

  10. GudEnuf says:

    It could be argued that r/mensrights has it’s fair share of trolls. But I don’t think they’re all trolls; I’ve seen some pretty outragoues comments made by users who have extensive (non-trolling) history in other reddits. And then you can look at other sites like The-Spearhead where the ADMINISTRATORS promote gendered slurs and hateful dialogue. I don’t know the specifics of this particular case, but I do know that the MRM has pervasive misogyny problem.

    As a feminist who is also a MRA, I hope you can accept my apology on behalf of the Men’s Rights movement.

    • ProjektTHOR says:

      That’s okay, we don’t need you to apologize for us.

    • Kita says:

      Thanks for reading, I wasn’t looking for an apology, just wanted to bring to light the fact that r/mensrights is filled with misogyny and outright hatred of women at times and that it’s upsetting and unfair. Especially when people insist that it isn’t.

      I think one of the most interesting parts of this whole dust-up is how hard the r/MR community has tried to dismiss the problem with that particular comment. Responses have included 1. I’m a feminist so why do they care what I think? 2. It’s a joke, geeze, don’t take it seriously and similar responses. It’s disappointing, to say the least.

      I certainly believe in fighting for all human rights, men being no exception, and wish that there were some sort of forum for the MRM that wasn’t quite so hateful.

      And that they would be willing to do what you seem to be able to do, recognize that the MRM has a major misogyny problem.

  11. duncan macleid says:

    Gudenouf , really in as much the same way that 0.5 % is not a representitive sample of /mensrights you as a singular person do not have the ability nor right to apoligise on behalf of the whole mens movement.

    The quote which was meant in an ironic sense ( something a lot of people dont get outside of mainland uk as i am discovering ) and has been used as a rather shaky strawman to base the whole /mensrights are mysoginist douchebags,

    This has been an epic fail on the part of the blogger im afraid.

    I mean if we are going to assume that the words of a few represent the feelings of a whole movement then after the likes of solanis, binden, harman and any other number of bloggers/politicians and celebs who state they are feminists then we can apply the same logic used by the writer here, that the group that defines itself, in this case as feminists as such hate men .

    • Kita says:

      You’ll notice I never once said the Men’s Rights movement was misogynistic, just that r/MensRights is. They are totally different things. My issue is with the subreddit, not the movement. It seems difficult for some people to recognize the difference, but it’s what I’m addressing.

  12. Gabriel Hebert says:

    Misogynists leaving hateful comments in Men’s Rights forums does not make the forum misogynistic. There are a handful of misogynists in reddit.com/r/mensrights who post a lot…most are from another section of reddit called /r/feminisms who post on /r/mensrights under another account, then with their main accounts post links to /r/feminisms and say “see, they’re all misogynists”. Most of us want nothing more than for our voices to be heard in regards to issues that plague us like false rape accusations, lack of resources for men facing physical/emotional abuse, the fact that men have zero reproductive rights, parental alienation, unjust family court systems, misandry in the media and society, unfair social expectations of men upholding the “provider/protector” gender role and double-standards that favor women. None of us true MRAs hate women, we just want an equal playing field.

    By your logic, if I posted something misogynistic here, this would be a misogynist website. Maybe instead of finger pointing and shaming, we should try and find some common ground instead of being at each others’ throats.

    Sometimes, having things equal means one gender has to give up something that is a benefit to them but not for the other. In those cases you just have to suck it up and realize you can’t have your cake and eat it too…at least not without sharing half with the other. Otherwise just admit that it’s not equal rights/responsibilities you want, but rather only equal rights so long as they benefit you.

    • Kita says:

      I was with you until “have your cake and eat it too” – not quite sure what you’re getting at there.

      I believe that in other subreddits, nonsense is either removed by mods or downvoted. In this case, being upvoted certainly seems to indicate community approval. I chose it because it was an egregious example of misogyny, and I have never seen anything approaching inviting doing violence to men in r/feminisms.

      Otherwise, sure, I’m all for having thoughtful discussions with people who disagree with me.

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